I'm really not sure that blogging after all the wine I've consumed tonight is such a good idea but am actually in a situation where I'm able to sit and type.
Have had an amazing time recently - visiting family. Learnt that it really helps to share the responsibility and that occasionally I need a drink and to catch up on sleep.
This last visit though has been really difficult. down with the parents - Mother is 88 and Dad is 89 - husband is 70.
Bizarre situation - who will go first? Can I cope? Probably not.
I decided at the age of 5 that nursing wasn't for me - not good with suffering and dire with blood - so why at the age of 55 am I suddenly caring for 3 extremely poorly people?
I love them all so much and it is so hard to cope with their suffering and try to stay positive.
So just occasionally - a long walk with Elly and an excess of alcohol is needed.
There are just so many things to sort out - wills; living wills; funerals; what happens afterwards?; can I afford to stay where I am?; do we need to make changes to our house? I could go on but what's the point? He won't talk about it - I will just have to cope and deal with everything as it comes.
I actually thought today that when it's all over I would quite to live down here just not sure if it's possible.
I know I have an amazing network in the Midlands but it's still North to me and walking elly by the sea is millions better than walking her through the mud.
Motor neuron disease can't be the only illness that turns peoples' lives upside down. It's so sad that you only appreciate what others may have been through when you find yourself there.
It is still so important to count blessings though. I have had a great time visiting our sons, staying with my step daughter - who is also a fantastic friend .
Whatever happend - God is in control and he will take care of all us - so time for prayers and bed.
God Bless and please - if I have made you think - please comment
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