Sunday, 28 July 2013

Comfort Zones

So why is it that I wake up feeling quite positive but am not able to transfer that feeling into action.
Here I am at gone midday still sat on my bed in my pjs despite having been woken at 9am by the dog jumping on me. 

Okay I have fed the dog and the fish and - a big improvement on yesterday - made myself coffee and breakfast but that is all.
I call my bed Comfort Zone 1 - my first target for each day is to leave it and if possible stay away from it until bedtime. I tend to sit here and 'live' through my laptop. I 'talk' to other people whose lives have been hit by MND or play games that don't involve the thought process so that I can numb my brain.
Comfort Zone 2 is my armchair - I feel good if I reach here - change of scenery - watch the tv or brush the dog but there will still be some internet connection about so that I can dive back into my virtual world.
Comfort Zone 3 is a big step into the conservatory - very calming watching the birds and looking out onto the garden.
The problem with 2 and 3 is that from them I can see all of the jobs that I have failed to tackle and really need to do something about, which is why I frequently return to number 1
I have been told that all of that is normal so I don't worry too much.
What is really strange for me is that I am totally on my own. I can't remember being this alone for years and is the reason I spend most of my waking hours attached to my laptop - it is my addiction and my friend.
I only saw and spoke to one person in the flesh yesterday - and that wasn't by choice - I bumped into them while walking Elly. They didn't know about Dave so it wasn't the best encounter.
I had three telephone calls and the rest was online.
Is that why I don't move and do things because I feel I'm not alone when I am clinging to the virtual world. Do I need to love my own company more?
So let's see if I can call on that greater strength and leave the virtual world alone until this evening and actually achieve something today.
After all Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
God bless you.
And please - although I find this therapeutic in itself - it would be nice to know that I really have sorted out my settings correctly and there are others reading it and perhaps being encouraged.

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